Monday, July 6, 2009

Wes, the tool.

All my single ladies, PLEASE take note of the man above. And please stay away from him or any other man who acts as he does. His name is Wes. Wes is a tool. He fits all of the stereotypical characteristics of a tool. Unsure of what makes a guy a tool? I figured you would be. So I have compiled the following list of red flags that may indicate the boy you are dating or have a crush on is, indeed, a tool.

-Oddly dressed.
-Accent of some sort. 
-Not sure how to form complete sentences, and if he gets one out, it is not in the correct context.
-Likes country music and sings it whenever asked.
-When defeated, says phrases such as, "after this i'm planning on having a lot of sex" "i get chicks"  or, my personal favorite "you're not that hot anyway"
-Wears Ed Hardy.
-Biceps bigger than both your thighs.
-Small head.
-Does summer sales.

I hope this helps. Also, please note, Wes is not an ex boyfriend of mine, but rather, a bachelorette contestant. Also, if your boyfriend/husband/crush/brother fit the description of two or more of these, please plan an intervention soon. 


Mallory said...

Hot. Does Summer Sales.... :( Dane is not a tool

Mel said...

I'm mostly referring to wes, from the bachelor. Of course Dane isn't a tool. ;)

Ali said...

hahahahahahaha. wes is a tool. this also sounds like someone else i know....

Erin said...

OMGosh the Ed Hardy thing just made me snort DC out my nose!!!