Thursday, July 9, 2009

bye bye bye.

my family and i, we have this tradition where we name our cars based off of the license plate. for example, my car in high school had the license plate HWD, which naturally made his name howard. so that was his name, howard, howie, h dawg... whatevs. my mom's van is named young jewish male as the license plate reads YJM. Anyway, you get the picture. so i got a new car a few years ago and was excited to name it. The license plate came, and it read PKR. I was stumped, parker? pucker? picker? nothing fit this car, especially since i felt she was a girl. so, for two years she remained nameless. when i traded her in a few weeks ago, i thought the parting would be simple, as she had no name. but i was wrong. i got choked up and made my mom take a million pictures of her and i. so i would never forget her. thanks nameless mazda3, thanks for the memories... 

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Ice cream, you scream, we all gag for ice cream

the other day, ali and i stopped for food at ice burg. on our way out we also got ice cream cones. we then took pictures of ourselves eating the cones. it was going along just like any normal pic sesh. but then, out of nowhere, ali GAGS on her ice cream. and i mean not just a small gag, but a full on, GAG. GAGAGAG. ugh, i can't even attempt to write how it sounded. but just know, it was hilarious. and the cones were delish.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Wes, the tool.

All my single ladies, PLEASE take note of the man above. And please stay away from him or any other man who acts as he does. His name is Wes. Wes is a tool. He fits all of the stereotypical characteristics of a tool. Unsure of what makes a guy a tool? I figured you would be. So I have compiled the following list of red flags that may indicate the boy you are dating or have a crush on is, indeed, a tool.

-Oddly dressed.
-Accent of some sort. 
-Not sure how to form complete sentences, and if he gets one out, it is not in the correct context.
-Likes country music and sings it whenever asked.
-When defeated, says phrases such as, "after this i'm planning on having a lot of sex" "i get chicks"  or, my personal favorite "you're not that hot anyway"
-Wears Ed Hardy.
-Biceps bigger than both your thighs.
-Small head.
-Does summer sales.

I hope this helps. Also, please note, Wes is not an ex boyfriend of mine, but rather, a bachelorette contestant. Also, if your boyfriend/husband/crush/brother fit the description of two or more of these, please plan an intervention soon.