Wes, the tool.

All my single ladies, PLEASE take note of the man above. And please stay away from him or any other man who acts as he does. His name is Wes. Wes is a tool. He fits all of the stereotypical characteristics of a tool. Unsure of what makes a guy a tool? I figured you would be. So I have compiled the following list of red flags that may indicate the boy you are dating or have a crush on is, indeed, a tool.

-Hot.

-Oddly dressed.

-Accent of some sort. 

-Not sure how to form complete sentences, and if he gets one out, it is not in the correct context.

-Likes country music and sings it whenever asked.

-When defeated, says phrases such as, "after this i'm planning on having a lot of sex" "i get chicks"  or, my personal favorite "you're not that hot anyway"

-Wears Ed Hardy.

-Biceps bigger than both your thighs.

-Small head.

-Does summer sales.

I hope this helps. Also, please note, Wes is not an ex boyfriend of mine, but rather, a bachelorette contestant. Also, if your boyfriend/husband/crush/brother fit the description of two or more of these, please plan an intervention soon. 

check.

i just got done kicking some finance ass. now i can focus on the greater things in life... getting a tan.

i'm 17, again.

i've jumped on the bandwagon that i use to throw eggs at. i'm one of them. i have a big.fat.crush. on zac efron. there, i said it. i saw 17 again and he has never looked so good to me. if you've seen the movie, i know you can't resist him either. want to start a fan club?

ps. so there are a lot of you who have gone private. and now i can't stalk you. and i want to see your blog pleeeeeaaaaase. namely: mallory b. etta. sue. keri. please add me, melraea@gmail.com so i can stalk you again.

Dear Future Me:

hey girl. so if i bought a bike right this second would you be mad at me for the splurge? or would you be cool with it? please let me know as soon as you know.

love,

me.

hard ball.

ever seen it? it's great. just don't watch it if you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. which i prefer to do over a lot of things. so it was my kind of movie. unfortunately, now all my thoughts are constantly singing "i love it when you call me big papa, throw ya hands in the air like yous a true playa, i see some ladies tonight who should be havin my babay, babay". not exactly a tune that helps me figure out how much jane should invest, and at what rate, and for how long, given that she only has twenty years to live, and just found out that her grandpa has already been investing $347.17 a year with an 8 percent coupon rate. oh man, finals week. it's killin me, babay.

movin on up.

hey ya'll. so i've decided to grow up. hey, don't think i don't hear you all sighing and saying finally... i hear ya alright. i'm sighing and saying the same thing. sooo first step in said "growing up", move out. yep, i'm doing it. moving out of the 'rents and paying the rent. please join me in wishing that this doesn't fail miserably like all the other times.. 

ps. i need boxes. 

cruisin for a bruisin.

class was fairly uneventful today so i decided to leave early and catch some ZZZ's before work. i also decided to take a different route to the parking lot as a muffin was sounding pretty delicious at eleven in the morning. as i waited in line a noise caught my attention and then life went in slow mo', i turned, and all my dreams came true, i saw a boy, wait, i saw a man, rolling down the hall wearing a pair of heelys. not kidding. music blasted and the wind started blowing in my hair. it was an awwwwww moment. time stood still. then reality kicked in and i lost the man in the crowds. bummer. i really wanted to snag a pic. well i guess you'll just have to take my word for it, heelys are still alive. bless his heart.